In my nearly 20 years of practicing law, I yelled at a subordinate a grand total of once. And that was after a grueling 36-hour brief-writing episode. I apologized to him the next day. We chalked it up to "the stress". Over the years I worked with any number of screamers and nasty bosses and associates but never rose to the bait. That's simply not who I am.
Nor do I yell at my kids. Now they're grown and make fun of me when I "get that tone." They try to see if they can detect a hint of anger in the quality of my voice at times. It's a game.
I am comfortable with my emotional self. I express my feelings healthily and directly and try to keep them in check. I laugh when I'm happy. I cry when I'm truly sad. I don't harbor hate, and I try to deal directly with frustration and anger—though I'm usually slow to it.
Wisdoc left a few days before vacation to attend a biological psychiatry conference in San Francisco. I was to fly out and meet her in Kaua'i. On the Friday night before I was to leave on Sunday, we spoke on the phone, and I broke down in a fit of tears and anger at her. For no reason. I told her I was so upset with her I was thinking about not even going to Hawai'i. I ranted for like 10 or 15 minutes. For no reason!
I apologized, even though I didn't understand why I'd gotten so upset. She understood and forgave. And, of course, I flew out to Hawai'i. Even enduring an unexpected seven-hour layover in the un-air conditioned section of the Honolulu airport waiting on the broke-down puddle-jumper to Kaua'i in good humor, joking around with Wisdomie and Wesdom the whole time.
Wisdoc met us at the airport around midnight, after our 23-hour travel ordeal, drove us to the rental apartment (she'd been there for a full day), and she and I talked late into the night about how strange it had been for me to behave that way. All in a good-humored, 'what-the-hell-was-that-all-about'? kind of way. After that, the subject never came up.
[click pics to embiggen + slide show, mouse over pics for quips]
|Magical Kaua'i Sunrise|
|Na Pali Coast. Unique in all the world land formations. Unique palette.|
|Interesting skies. Translucent waves.|
|About to get soaked!|
|Precipitous? Damn right!|
|Interesting sky through a Monkey Pod tree.|
|Rocky pool 'neath a waterfall.|
|Kaua'i near sunset.|